Monday, April 20, 2009

We Are ALL Witnesses, By: Lebron James

Thanks Paul! I really appreciate the love man! What's good America?!?! It's ya boy, King James in the building and I'm here to let you know why I should be the MVP.......(like the award isn't already mines already). I've never been a selfish person, (coughing)6.7 assist per game, but in order to convince you to vote for me for MVP, I'll have to brag on myself a lil bit ya know. But before I get started, I would like to dedicate my MVP season to Skip Bayless. Skip, your continual hate has motivated me to take my game to another level. I really don't care if you will never like my game, but you WILL respect it!!!!! Yezzir!

ANYWAYS, here are 6 reasons (in honor of my 6th season) why I, Lebron Raymone James, Should take home the Maurice Podoloff Trophy.

1. PPG-28.4, RPG-7.6, APG-7.2, SPG-2, BPG-1, FG- 49%, FT- 79% during 37 minutes per game.....................Team Record 66-16

LET THAT MARINATE PLEASE.............................................................................................

Ok, now last years MVP- PPG-28.2 (lower), RPG-6.3 (Puh-Lease), APG-5.4 (And I know it hurt him to share the ball that much!), SPG-2, BPG-too small to compare, FG- 46% (sigh), FT- 84% (ok, so he has me there)...................Team Record 57-25(Kidding Me!!!).....................

Can I have my trophy now?!?!

2. Let me ask you a question. At the beginning of this season, did you really see THIS Cleveland Cavalier team going 66-16*?!?! I'm POSITIVE you didn't see that coming! I mean, sure Mo Williams was a great addition to the team and yes, he's an all-star, but he was a replacement's REPLACEMENT!!!!! Meanwhile, I have to work with Big Z, Varejao, DW, Big Ben, Wally, Boobie, and whoever else Mike puts in the game (yea, we're on a first name basis.......matter of fact, he's MY assistant coach!). I must give D Wade props though. He is definitely working with scraps. But seriously, 66 wins?!?!?! Yea, i didn't think so! Also, my camaraderie with the team (see picture above), is parallel to no other star in the league! Kobe barely likes anybody else on his team and D. Wade is too into himself to even share the spotlight with his team!

(*- I didn't play in the last game of the season or else it would have been 67-15!!!)

3. OK, so maybe you didn't read those names above, but I'll prove how my presence on the court can make these guys better.

Delonte West- 10 ppg last year, 12 this year

Mo Williams- 39% from 3 last year, 44% this year

Anderson Varejao- (he averages less rebounds this year because I don't miss!) 7 ppg last year, 9 ppg this year!!!!

Do I need to continue?!?!

4. I want you to take a look at something.............. . Witnesses speak the truth! Jon Barry is a BUM so I'm not tripping about him ridding me of being the unanimous choice! Somebody put that man in witness protection!!!

5. Allow me to hate a little bit. Ummm, MV3 (it only caught on in Miami) somehow seems to claim that "this is my house" when he plays at the America Airlines Arena and that's cute, it really is. But last time I checked, the Heat were 28-15 at home and MY Cavs were 39-2*. Also I conquered that house!!! This is MY LEAGUE Mr. Wade!!! (*- that 2nd home loss came at the end of the season when I wasn't playing)

6. Sigh, Mr. Bryant..........Yes he gave us our only home loss (ok, we lost 2, but I'm only gonna count 1), yes his teams record is almost as good as ours, and yes he is the reigning MVP, but his reign must come to an end. I don't know why Pau Gasol is so underrated!!!! This guy is LEGIT! If Kobe was not on this team, they would still have a shot at making the playoffs! As a matter of fact, If Kobe was having an off night, he could easily be the 4th option! Think I'm wrong?! Well, lets see. There's Pau (check), L.O. (check), and the playboy Bynum (check)! I'm sorry, but if I had those kind of options, I'd average a triple double AND have 70+ wins.........EVERY SEASON!

And if that isnt yea.....nuff said!


Contributed by Terrell McCoy, of P.O.L.R exPRESS. Check him out!!

1 comment:

Lee Bill said...

Lebron James hates the Bulls/Chicago and vice versa. This article did nothing but offered a scenario and then quickly shot it down. Pointless.