HERE, my friend, in a nutshell…is why I don’t check my voicemail…15 messages! Aaaand here we go…
1. My job called and apologized after telling me to start on the wrong day. My boss asked me to come Tuesday, but they told me to come Monday upon hiring. The message was NOT warning me not to come on the wrong day, so it wasn’t needed.
2. Fab—“Cooooooooooooooooooon! Call me back.”
3. My FAVORITE reason not to check my voicemail…someone didn’t know they had called me (I think it was Otis) and I heard 2 minutes of background noise and imperceptible conversation… the ratio of these to actual messages is usually higher than this, so I can’t complain with just one.
4. Pastor Horton – an actual message I should’ve heard!! – called and asked for a song we used to sing at church. Of course, I returned his call before checking the message, so I still don’t need it.
5. George Hassell—we were phone tagging
6. …George again
7. …George missed me again—now he lives in Bermuda, he’s about to get married, and he doesn’t have text messaging, so this is all quite forgivable. Well…at least one or two.
8. Steven LaiHing SCREAMING into my phone about a basketball game! And he ends it with his textbook “Call me back” although a) his message would have served better as a text AND b) he was not calling for anything business related! And he tells me to answer my messages!!
9. Alex Horton…SINGING into my phone…which is ironic, because his father sang in Message 4 to identify the song he was requesting. So I got 2 nice little musical interludes in my voicemail, that’s a plus.
10. Someone calling me with explicit details about a wedding I honestly didn’t even know I was in… ok this is definitely of importance…but I still am confused.
11. Someone calling me about a job. I have returned the call already. No need to hear the message, it’s of the “Give me a call” variety.
12. My sister Janelle giving me a detailed description of how much enchilada bake she and her boyfriend have consumed. By this point, I don’t even have to be sarcastic. The people in my life want to see me suffer.
13. My mom telling me where Alex’s towel is for when he stays at the house…seriously, she left a message…about a towel. OH! aaand a washcloth…
14. I missed Zach’s call on Sabbath morning, and he was trying to get me to print some stuff out for church that day. Of course, I called him back, so… message not needed.
15. Lastly, and the reason I went ahead and checked my messages today, my employer called and said they didn’t receive my hours for last week. Now I was returning his call, but he was away. I left HIM a message to clear it all up.
See? I’m not against ALL voice messages, I’m just against the ones that I get most of the time. Whenever I pick up my phone, it’s either to send a text or to make a call. Maybe what I should do is let people know how I feel about voicemail ON my voicemail...
“Hi, this is Clifton Jessup. If this is a business call, please leave your name and message after the beep. If this is not a business call, and I know who you are, please text if you can…that includes you, Steve. Have a good one.”
The Starting Five (Oct. 19) - * * *
5 hours ago